Hope & Comfort

I'm one of those people who really like to mark up their scriptures. You know the people I'm talking about - their scriptures are covered in that signature "LDS Scripture Marker" red. I think I've inherited this tendency from my daddy, whose scriptures are virtually unreadable in some places. I take it even a step further. My scriptures look like a multi-colored quilt and every color has an assigned meaning or time period. (I'm currently in my blue period.) I'm constantly writing notes and important happenings in the margins. Some of my friends think so much color is sacrilegious. I think it's awesome - I love looking back and seeing what scriptures meant a lot to me three years ago or where I was reading when so-and-so got their mission call.

Why the discussion of my polychromatic study habits? Well, there's one scripture in John that has reached the unreadable level, but it doesn't much matter, because I have it memorized. It has been one of my very favorite scriptures for a very long time. In it, Jesus Christ simply states, "I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."

When I was younger, this scripture brought tranquility when I woke from a nightmare in the middle of the night. When I was a little bit older, it meant peace when girls were mean and I was lonely in those awkward junior high years. During my sophomore year of high school, it took on yet another meaning when my daddy suffered a relapse of his Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I thought I was strong enough to deal with it on my own, and I hated to have people watch me struggle, so I told almost no one. I was really good at putting on a happy face, but I wanted so badly for someone to call me out, to realize that I was fighting for control of my life and my emotions...and loosing. But even then, I found comfort in the scriptures, knowing that I had an Older Brother and Savior who loves me deeply and personally. "I will not leave you..." That intimate phrase seemed directed right for me - my Savior was there by my side when I needed Him most.

And so that brings us to today. Commence Round Three. That little Lymphoma monster that has been sleeping for four years is back. We're still playing the waiting game with test results right now, but the tentative plan is for Daddy to start chemo within the next week. However, the tests that he's been doing for the past 2 weeks have given us many things to be grateful for and there are many treatment options that weren't available just four years ago. (For my good friends that are hearing about this for the first time through blog, I am so very sorry. I'm still not very good at telling people.)

In the last round, I refused to let my friends in when so many of them would have been more than happy to help me through a hard time. But I'm not going to hide behind a facade this time. Sometimes I can't keep my happy face, but I always keep my faith. I believe in the power of prayer. Already we've seen so many miracles and there is much to be grateful for. But my daddy could use your prayers and your positive thoughts.

Also, I know there are many others out there who are fighting similar battles. I'd like to help. I've been through this a few times now - sometimes I handle it really well, sometimes I don't. But I've learned a few things that I'd like to share:
-you can choose to be happy -your attitude is totally up to you
-there is always a silver lining
-hugs and friends are wonderful
-just knowing that people are pulling for you is very powerful
-miracles happen everyday
-laughter is the best medicine
-happiness can be shared
-Our Savior loves each of us and knows how to help us through any trial
-prayers are often answered through people - let them in!
Well, friends, now you know. A few of my blogs have already been about all of this, and I'm sure that many in the future will be, just so you know where I'm coming from. I love you all. Thank you for your support and prayers. Be happy - life is beautiful.

The Good News

I have a big brother who I love very, very much. We're not actually siblings, not even cousins, not even related at all, but we've been through a lot together. He helped me survive my sophmore year of high school and my daddy's first relapse. I'm his go to girl when he's incredibly bored and needs some one to talk to while driving tractor for endless hours. We go on dates so we can make fun of the couples that double with us. He's my Tater Bro and I'm his Lil' Spitz. Sometimes a girl just needs a big brother to take care of her, and Tate is an awesome brother to have. I am so glad he adopted me. ;D

This dear brother of mine called me last night to tell me the best piece of news I have heard in a long time: He's going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have never heard so much determination or emotion in Tate's voice as when he said, "There's no if about this anymore; I'm GOING on a mission." I am SO incredibly proud of him.

We spent quite a bit of time on the phone last night, talking about missionaries, focus, the Spirit, and sharing the Gospel (or, as I have recently learned in my New Testament class, "The Good News"). We shared many personal thoughts, insights, and tears. (I'm lucky I didn't short circuit my phone, actually, I was quite weepy.) This has been a long time coming for Tate, and now he's struggling a bit with keeping his focus, so I gave him a To Do List, which I wanted to share with all of you. Now, I'm not the kind of person that regularly makes lists of goals, so this is a bit out of the ordinary for me, but the Spirit was so incredibly strong when we were discussing the list, I felt like it needed to be shared.

1) Pray - Get down on your knees and bare your heart. Put it all on the line and ask the Lord for comfort, guidance, & strength.

2) Read your Scriptures prayerfully and diligently - Really search for answers, encouragement, and direction.

3) Make a list of reasons you want to serve a mission.

4) Make a list of reasons that you are grateful for the Gospel - revise missionary list.

5) Spread the news - tell your friends and family that you're going, ask for their prayers and support, and tell everyone how excited you are to serve the Lord!

6) Get those papers in!
(LDS missionaries must apply to serve a mission, finance their mission, and accept the call to serve, whether it be in Salt Lake City, Mexico, Bulgaria, or any of the 348 mission areas worldwide. See Missionary PR or mormon.org)


7) Remember that you have a little sister who supports you, believes in you, and loves you very much.

#1, #2, and #7 are infinite. This one goes out to you, my Tater Bro, and all the other missionaries, past, present, and, most especially, future! Go forth! Work hard! Spread the "Good News!"