Monday, November 17, 2008

Cutlery in the Road

Sometimes we come to a fork in the road. Other times we don't realize that something significant has changed until we look back and see the new direction our lives have taken. Sometimes the decisions we think are huge don't actually make that much difference. And sometimes a lot of forks seem to present themselves at once.

Today is one of those days.

I feel like I've got a whole pile of cutlery in my road right now. This isn't necessarily a bad thing...just a lot of decisions to be made - big, small, school, life, love, family, serious, and silly. Wa-bam. I was looking for a bit of change, a few new opportunities, a new direction - a new fork. I got the whole utensil drawer. And a can opener.

Today is decision day. My daddy has an appointment with his doctor this afternoon to find out what sort of cancer monster we're dealing with in Round 3. If it's the same lymphoma that he's had in the past, he'll probably start an amazing new type of chemo, the same type of treatment he did in Round 2, today or tomorrow. It won't be fun, but it will be better than our other option. If the cancer has morphed into a more aggressive lymphoma, then he'll yet again experience the joy of CHOP chemo. And when I say joy...well, let's just say I'm being a bit sarcastic.

Knives, forks, spoons - everything is out on the table today. I've been a lot more bold than I usually am in many ways. I'm also feeling very blessed, despite all of these decisions. Just the fact that I'm making all of these choices shows me how many totally incredible opportunities and experiences I've had in my life. I have wonderful friends who care about me. I find comfort (see verse 18) in the scriptures (verse 12) and am soothed by wise words in the lyrics of my favorite songs. I am also having a lot of fun with hyper-link. Lots of good stuff. If you haven't heard these songs, do yourself a favor and give them a listen. ("Hope for the Hopeless" should be playing now - see playlist at the bottom of the page.)

I'm staying positive and looking forward with hope. And if that's the best I can do right now, I feel like that's enough.

Also for your viewing pleasure, slightly amusing description of monoclonal antibodies - like the type used in the first treatment option.


Corrie said...

You do have quite a collection of "cutlery". All I know you will make good use of and turn into a masterpiece of experience, bended with a huge helping of faith.

PS: You did gain your love of music, especially mood music from your Daddy;D


Corrie said...

Daddy favorite vs. of john 14 are 26 & especially 27!!!! awesome thoughts puddy!!! very meaningful in the hindsight of our new "good news", dont ya think? i luv the song!! but we are not the hopeless, we of all people are full of hope because of the light of the fullness of the gospel and the life and atonement of the Savior!!! it is an overwhelming thought to ponder on just how blessed we are even in the midst of this storm!!! luv ya the mostest and the bestest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! luv, yur Dad-E

Kels H. said...

That's kind of my point w/ the song - even when your situation seems totally hopeless, there is always, ALWAYS hope. Because our Savior loves us and helps us through the struggles that we face, no matter what they are.

chloe said...

great writing kels! i love you my dear!