Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Fashion Frenzy

I am not fashionable. Really, I'm not.

Today I am wearing my jeans tucked in to a pair of flowery rainboots. This is not a fashion statement. In fact, I think I look a bit ridiculous. But it drives me crazy when the hems of my pants are all soggy, so, you do what you gotta do. (I'm not sure whether the fact that I'm wearing a fabulous Jones New York scarf is saving me or just making me look more absurd - probably the latter, unfortunately.)

Typically, I can dress myself & look fairly decent, but I rarely do anything daring (aka bizarre) enough for anyone to call me a "fashionista." I don't read fashion magazines. I buy things on sale - which means most of my clothes are last season. My favorite jeans are four years old. & I'm not so good at the whole accessorizing thing.

So... I probably have no right to pass judgements on the "creations" of the great designers.
But seriously.

These looks are just ridiculous. & so funny that I just could resist sharing.

Haven't we all at one point found ourselves standing in front of the mirror on a Friday night wearing only tights and thinking, "Gah! I have nothing to wear with these awkwardly baggy tights! Alas!" Well, fear no more - you now have a very fashionable solution - simply steal a few doilies from your grandmother's linen closet, tuck them into a tank top, & wrap a belt around yourself. Voila! You're a vision in... fake lace.

Another example of the ever-fabulous doilie dress.
The hair really just makes this ensemble, doncha think?

There's no better way to stand out than by painting your face white & wearing MC Hammer's pajamas paired with the sailor coat. Obviously, the only thing that could make this look better is the wonderful placement of the satin bra ON TOP of the shirt. Genius. Pure visual genius.

LOVE this look - it's like... 1950s airline stewardess, sin pants.
And again, the hair! So fabulous - why did I never think of wearing my shower scrub poofy thing on top of my head? Where have I BEEN?

I must say, this look is very practical. I mean, if you're going to spend a lot of money on retro satin underwear, you just HAVE to show it off. Wearing your "dainties" on top of your clothes only makes sense.


martha said...

haha, you're funny. :) and i like you.

Kristen said...

lol. where in the world did you find these, seriously? they're absolutely atrocious.

Kels H. said...

Kristen, darling, this is high fashion. Don't judge so harshly, these people know what is WHAT.