redux

I have a serious case of deja vu. Have you ever felt like you'd "fought the good fight" and finally gotten over something? Anything, a problem, a trial, a crush, a sticky situation, an argument, a grudge. Whatever. We've all felt that sense of relief, of triumph, that "yay! go me!" feeling.

But sometimes life likes to play the boomerang game and throws back the same issue, all over again, as soon as you turn your back. I've felt the sting of those boomerangs smacking the back of my head. Four times. Since Monday. yay. Go me.

I know this all sounds rather vague right now. That's intentional. I don't really want to go into detail or whine or gripe or mope. I just want to send a big "ARGH!" out into the void.

So.
ARGH!

take that, void. yeah.

She Paints Me Blue

I've recently been smacked upside the head by the realization of just how much blue there is in my life. It's kind of ridiculous. So I felt like writing a series of lists about my relationship w/ the color blue:

Experiences That Have Made Me Notice My Obsession.
1- I went shopping shortly after Christmas & only managed to buy one item of clothing that isn't blue or green. It's grey. I got the grey sweater so it would go well with all my blue & green.

2-My roomie face Carrie was wearing a bright blue shirt yesterday that she doesn't wear very often & her boyfriend/my buddy Jason thought it was mine. Apparently, anything that particular shade of azul is just assumed to belong to me. 9 or 10 times this assumption is probably right.

3- My closet. I have a mild form of OCD (maybe) & therefore like to organize my clothing by color. The sections go a bit like this: Dark Green, Green, Greenish Blue, Turquoise, Bright Blue (aka Kelsey Blue), Light Blue, Dark Blue, BYU Blue, Purple/Pink/Red (this section contains about 4 things), Brown, Black, White/Grey. There is no yellow & no orange. I have one pink dress & one pink shirt.

4- My room - here all my stuff is baby blue or dark blue or bright blue. At home my walls a green, my curtains are blue & white, all my bedding is blue & white. Obsession much?

Reasons I Like Blue
1- I go to Brigham Young University. Blue is practically holy.

2- Blue is the color of the ocean.

Van Gogh rocks my world

3- Blue is the color of the sky.

4- Blue can express a lot of emotions. Have you ever seen a pensive shade of Pink? I didn't think so.

5- I just do. I think I have some weird chemical make up that allows the color blue to stimulate endorphins in my brain.

A Greatly Abridge List of My Favorite Blue Things
1- the ocean

2-the sky

again, Van Gogh is the man

3-the cool edge of my eyes you can only see if you look really close

4- my bestest friends'eyes - both Kristen's & Carrie's are gorgeous blue, but different shades

5-my men's flannel shirt that Carrie thinks is heinous & ugly. I don't care. I love it.

coolest/comfiest shirt EVER.

6- jeans. I love blue jeans.

7- facebook. It's blue. & as much as I hate to admit it, I love it.

8- my iPod

bliss

9- cookie monster

anyone who regularly throws tantrums for cookies makes my hero list

10- my new hoodie

11- my lucky polka-dot shoes

Ah, what the heck? I love this picture

12- my board shorts

13-my sharpies

14- my university

true blue, through & through

15- my daddy's 1941 Chevy

The Big Fat Blue Chevy (Daddy's is a gorgeous midnight blue)

16- my running leggings (aka my super woman tights)

my "cape" is also blue

17- my Aston Martin...oh...wait...that was just a dream. crud.

Yes, I did just write an entire blog post about the color blue. I must be really cool or something.

Random Question

I'm a big fan of random questions. I think it's awesome when you're getting to know someone & they go outside the lines & ask you something like, "What color are your socks & why?" rather than the standard, "So, where are you from...? blah blah blah..." I love that atrociously over-used cliché - Variety is the spice of life. That's why I almost always listen to music on shuffle. Or maybe I just have a mild form of ADD.

The point is - I like creative questions - they inspire creative answers. So it's no wonder that I'm a big fan of the random questions on the blogger profiles. This was one of my favorites:

Random Question:

When you open your eyes underwater, do you ever worry that you'll drown?

This was my answer:
No. I am tight like unto a dish.

Just for fun, one of my favorite paintings by Van Gogh.

Say Anything

So, I sort of have a bit of a love affair with the band Mae. I really dig their music & their lyrics. One my favorite lines comes from their song "Suspension" & goes like so: Say anything, but say what you mean.

I've been thinking a lot about that sentiment lately. When should you say something? When should you just keep your mouth shut? Is it good to be open or to hide a bit of yourself? The line of saying the right thing & saying too much is very fine. I have awful eyesight & quite often can't see that boundary. But usually I think it's better to say SOMETHING.

I don't want to sound preachy or make anyone feel badly, but over the break I spent a lot of time talking with my mom about my dad's recent relapse of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She's found so much encouragement in just the little things that people have said to boost her morale. People have been so kind and thoughtful. But on the other hand, she's been really surprised at how many people have started avoiding the subject & even stopped talking to her. I think a lot of that is just because when you aren't sure what the right thing to say is, you usually don't say anything at all.

But that isn't always best. Sure, you avoid a bit of potential awkwardness, but just saying SOMETHING can mean so much. You don't have to understand what it's like. You don't even have to have a clue what's going on. But when you know someone is hurting, sometimes it means the most just to say something simple: "I thinking about you," "Is there anything I can do to help?" "How are you REALLY?" or even a simple "I'm sorry that you're going through this." My mom is an incredibly strong woman; she's been through so much & her optimism never ceases to amaze me. But that doesn't mean she doesn't get scared. I've seen what just a few words can do to raise her spirits.

Words are powerful. So just say something. If you care about someone, let them know. You never know what happiness & hope you could bring to someone. As long as you mean what you say, the words you use don't matter much. The fact that you care is enough.

So, Say anything, but say what you mean.