Monday, January 5, 2009

Say Anything

So, I sort of have a bit of a love affair with the band Mae. I really dig their music & their lyrics. One my favorite lines comes from their song "Suspension" & goes like so: Say anything, but say what you mean.

I've been thinking a lot about that sentiment lately. When should you say something? When should you just keep your mouth shut? Is it good to be open or to hide a bit of yourself? The line of saying the right thing & saying too much is very fine. I have awful eyesight & quite often can't see that boundary. But usually I think it's better to say SOMETHING.

I don't want to sound preachy or make anyone feel badly, but over the break I spent a lot of time talking with my mom about my dad's recent relapse of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She's found so much encouragement in just the little things that people have said to boost her morale. People have been so kind and thoughtful. But on the other hand, she's been really surprised at how many people have started avoiding the subject & even stopped talking to her. I think a lot of that is just because when you aren't sure what the right thing to say is, you usually don't say anything at all.

But that isn't always best. Sure, you avoid a bit of potential awkwardness, but just saying SOMETHING can mean so much. You don't have to understand what it's like. You don't even have to have a clue what's going on. But when you know someone is hurting, sometimes it means the most just to say something simple: "I thinking about you," "Is there anything I can do to help?" "How are you REALLY?" or even a simple "I'm sorry that you're going through this." My mom is an incredibly strong woman; she's been through so much & her optimism never ceases to amaze me. But that doesn't mean she doesn't get scared. I've seen what just a few words can do to raise her spirits.

Words are powerful. So just say something. If you care about someone, let them know. You never know what happiness & hope you could bring to someone. As long as you mean what you say, the words you use don't matter much. The fact that you care is enough.

So, Say anything, but say what you mean.


Liz said...

Thank you, I love you and appreciate all that you do for me. You lift me, you encourage me, you teach me, but most of all I know you love me!!!

Kels H. said...

I'm not sure which Liz this is... but thank you! If you're any one of the Lizs I'm thinking of, I DO love you!

bgerson said...

Hey Kels!
I can totally relate to this. Sometimes I think others don't want to "bring it up" you forgot or something? Or say the wrong thing. It means so much for people to say makes you feel less alone.
You guys are an amazing family and we love you!

Kristen said...

that is very good advice. you are awesome! as is your family. I am thinking of you guys, and I less than 3 you all.